Clearly, I Suck

So, I haven't updated in a week and please let's not confuse that with me having a life. I'll start from where I left off.

Saturday night: Went to Sand's, had a few beers there then headed to Drew's. Umm, nothing too exciting.

Sunday: The biggest shit show of my life. We took an airport shuttle van thing to Giant's stadium. Mind you it was 12 people in a van and 100 degrees. Cue flashback of Africa. We looked like a big American freakshow, dressed in red, white and blue with oodles of flags and ridiculous accessories. The boys were all in lacrosse pinnies which I was very jealous of. We didn't have too much time to tailgate so we pounded what we had and went inside. I sincerely apologize to anyone and everyone sitting around us. All of the boys were shirtless, screaming profanities. Taryn was asleep in her lap. After the game, Max and his new best friend destroyed a car that earlier tried to park in our tailgating area. They punched out the side mirrors, ripped off the windshield wipers, let the air out of the tires, tore off the gas cap, and to finish it off poured a beer down the tank. According to others and my pictures, we continued to drink on the ride home. Bad idea. Tim got out of the van while we were stuck in traffic. Andrew pissed into a bottle. Johnny vommed all of the side of the van once we got back. We're a classy bunch. No more vodka-rootbeer.

Monday: Woke up not knowing how I got home, where my wristlet, bag, cell phone, or camera were. I believe I went to the beach all day. All the days kind of blend together but I think Taryn, Jackie and Andrew came by later that afternoon and we tried to gather facts about the game. I mooched a delicious dinner off some random birthday party for one of my mom's friends. There is nothing like eating steak and drinking vodka on a lounge chair at the beach. Taryn and I went over to Jackie's...James stopped by...I have no recollection of what else we did.

Tuesday: The hottest day ever. I was at Sand's all day just going in the pool, drying off, putting on suntan lotion and repeating this process every 20 minutes. Going to the beach by yourself is incredibly boring. Especially if your entire front side is burned and there is no one to put lotion on your back. I had dinner at the beach with my mama and Jackie. We then went to Jackie's and painted our nails. Taryn came over too. I have no idea what else we did.

Wednesday: I'm pretty sure I did nothing all day and only left the house once to get Starbucks. My psychopath of a mother gave me this card thats good for free iced coffee every Wednesday all summer. Wheeee coffee! That night I went over to Jackie's for margaritas and I love the 80's with Taryn, James, Tim and Andrew. Jackie is fascinated by the fact that cow farts are depleting the ozone layer. We are so cool.

Thursday: Had my Pottery Barn Kids orientation. Most pointless 4 hours of my life. Explain to me how watching videos about a hospital in Tennessee is relevant to selling children's furniture. It's not. I later had dinner with my daddy and grandma. I have decided to elope so that my family need not be at my wedding.

Friday: Slept til 1. I am a waste of life. Made lunch and went to Alley's birthday party. I do not recommend eating one meal then drinking for 8 hours. Jack picked me up and I hung out with Drew and Tim at Tim's for a bit. I love Patti. Then we headed over to Drew's where some others joined us. Another wild night. Notice the sarcasm.

I will try to update more for all (2) of my adoring fans (Marnie and Laura).